choosing a venue and setting priorities

Ok so you've battled through the preliminary guestlist and have established that you don't have to sell any major organs to pay for this wedding ( home equity loan YES!)  you now have to set a date and find a location. These 2 things MUST go hand in hand. If you love a space and it is booked on your date..sorry. If you must get married on a specific date, you have to find out ASAP if your preferred  venue is available. Flexibility is a good thing here...you may get lucky and you may have to compromise.


Most engagements last a year or more and you will need this in order to book your favorite venue and vendors. When I was in the flower biz, I'd get calls to see if I was available on a date before they set it...so humbled and honored by this. But this is an important thing to consider if you love a certain photographer or floral designer..or wedding planner...they can only be in one place at one time and you have to set your priorities...


Each  venue offers it's own set of pros and cons ;what's perfect for one bride would never work for another. I can't tell you that one way is the best way,I have my personal opinions and preferences but that is what worked for US, you have to decide what works for YOU.
Each wedding is unique. During the height of my career I did 40 weddings a year and each one was personal and tailored to the family. And each one was beautiful and meaningful and memorable.
  My other Daughter will get married at some point and i already know that hers will be completely different from Lizzie's and OH what a time I'll have posting my new adventure when that day comes


let's consider some scenarios that illustrate the how the priorities of several brides ultimately determined the choice of venue:


Bride A had set these priorities:

• Fall, about 1 year engagement
• Saturday night
• 150
• tapas style food
• DJ
• historic venue
• ceremony on site
•  wedding co-ordinator .

 The bride works with her mother so things could either be very easy or constantly stressful!
The bride always loved this historic venue Peabody Library which fit her guestlist perfectly, but the venue was not available in Fall until 2 years from the date of engagement. The family didn't want to prolong the planning for that long and they could have everything else they wanted if they could plan the wedding in 6 months, because that was the only Saturday the venue wasn't booked. Other options they could have chosen: have the wedding on a Friday or a Sunday or in the middle of sweltering summer, they could have chosen a different venue. Ultimately Bride A had a lovely Spring wedding at the venue of her dreams...this one is Lizzie's!  This one required full on MOB battle stations... my support group is unparallelled.


Bride B:

• Christmastime 
• Evening
• 300
• seated dinner
• church wedding
• orchestra.

This bride has 18 months lead time, but the bride lives 10 hr drive away from her mom and can't get back to town very often. Her In-laws want to be involved in planning , they are using a wedding planner.
Originally this family wanted to have the wedding at their country club, but the guest list was over 300 and they wanted the traditional seated dinner..the club maxed out at 266 people for a seated dinner so they had a choice: either switch to a cocktail reception or switch venues...then they thought they'd have a tented wedding at home but the logistics made them crazy. Now they are looking at several posh hotels
...I'll keep you posted on the priorities that helped make the decisions..this one is in the early planning stages.

Bride C:

• Fall
• Saturday evening
• 210
• cocktail reception
• elegant country club
• live band
• church wedding

The bride lives 3 hrs away from her mom and came to town frequently,They decided not to have a wedding planner, primarily because the MOB works in the wedding biz and didn't want to choose one planner over another.
This bride wanted to have a fun flowing cocktail party reception ,their venue was available and could accommodate their guestlist quite comfortably, but the cost for the cocktail party was sooo much higher than the cost of a seated dinner, that they opted for the seated dinner and redistributed the budget to allow for some other bells and whistles.  Needless to say it was a fabulous wedding,The MOB's only regret..she wishes that she had hired a wedding planner...for her sanity.




offhand, these 3 weddings don't have much in common..yet all 3 started with a set of priorities and employed the same tactic for determining the date and location: who,what,where, when, how.  The family decided WHO  they wanted to invite, WHAT kind of reception they wanted to have, HOW much they could afford to spend,  WHERE they liked and if the space would hold their number of guests, and they simultaneously had to decide WHEN to have the wedding, based on the preferred venue's availability.


It's a lot to juggle . Most Brides want to do a lot of research online while we, the  older generation, like to get out and see for ourselves and make phone calls. The double flanked attack works great! Whatever works..just get started as soon as you can so that you don't miss out on all the best venues and vendors. Once you get the bones of the wedding established you can relax for a bit.....




(info about venues is readily available wherever you live...just do some Google searches ,go to The Knot or buy some local bridal magazines.)