Sunday, June 12, 2011

The BEST gift you can give to yourself

Having been a major player in the creation of countless weddings , the one thing I knew for sure is that there was NO Way I could pull off the wedding without someone by my side. The BEST gift you can give to yourself and to your family is a Wedding Planner. Now that may seem like a funny thing for me to say since i have been in the business for 25 years and by now i should know everything there is to know..but truly , being on the MoB side of the wedding game is a whole different animal. For 25 years I lived and breathed weddings, I know just about everything that goes on behind the scenes from a decorating standpoint and I've pitched in doing lighting ,rigging tents,even doing cooking,sewing and calligraphy in a pinch...but I never had to bear the weight of the entire event AND be there to enjoy it. I always had amazing colleagues to share the joy and the pain and I have the greatest respect for everyone in the event community because I know what goes on behind the scenes the day of, the week of, the months leading up to, a wedding. Your vendors pour countless hours working to make your wedding a success, they are a team and you are their captain...but the captain needs a co-pilot and that person is your wedding planner.

My favorite movie character is Frank in Father of the Bride, played by Martin Short. He epitomizes everything that is misconceived about wedding planners, but he sure did have a vision.. Schvans, we must have schvans! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKFtRedJxTw And while it really isn't all about the cake, it really is all about allowing YOU to enjoy your daughter's wedding. Nothing is sadder than missing all the fun because you are a bedraggled emotional physical wreck from troubleshooting all the last minute problems that inevitably arise on the day of the wedding. TRUST me on this, there is stuff happening behind the scenes of every wedding that would make you weep and you DO NOT want to know about it...trust me! Every time you think your vendors are overcharging you , please know that what you actually see the day of the wedding is just the tip of the iceberg...months of work went into every aspect from the food to the flowers to the music by hundreds of people all over the world....all for you and your daughter.( You'll see what i mean when I start elaborating about specific areas, like the flowers.)

So what does a wedding planner do and why do you NEED one?
First you have to decide how much you want a planner to do. Some do everything including designing the event, think Colin Cowie types. While most offer many levels of service, don't just go for 'day of' coordinating...how would you like to be thrown into a situation that you had no control over and be expected to make sure everything turns our perfectly..this is unreasonable!!! ohhh on so many levels!
The whole point of hiring a planner/coordinator is to help you all along the way. To be your sounding board and your shoulder to cry on, and even your whipping post at times! Wedding planners should be awarded honorary degrees in psychology and be elevated to sainthood . Interview several until you find one who 'gets you '. Whatever money you spend on a planner will be repaid in savings for having someone to lean on , to guide you, to tell you frankly that white tuxedos are a big mistake that you will regret for the next 50 years. hahahaha   But seriously, you deserve to enjoy the big day and the only way to do that is to hand over the responsibility to someone you can trust. No matter how many times your caterer tells you they will take care of everything, will your caterer be at the church when the florist shows up to decorate and there is a funeral going on? Will your banquet manager know what to do when the limos get lost coming to your home? You want to be on cloud nine, not troubleshooting!

You NEED a wedding coordinator to help you
  • to compare preposals and to review contracts
  • to help you find reliable vendors
  • to help you establish a realistic budget and to help keep you on that budget
  • to be the go-between when anyone 'difficult' needs to be dealt with
  • to advise and help you to make educated decisions
  • to be the point person for all of your vendors
  • to establish a timeline so the day goes smoothly
  • to arrange and oversee production meetings
  • to manage all the millions of details
  • to be the voice of reality,"no you can't have the ceremony at 2 and have the entire wedding party of 8 do hair and make up AND do photos before the ceremony and only hire one makeup artist"
  • to remind you to go buy Spanx..oh yes you do need Spanx
  • to help you deal with the inlaws
  • to be the buffer when you and your daughter start to but heads..it'll happen.
  • to allow you to be the Mother of the Bride and to cry tears of joy and to laugh till you pee and to dance your butt off  and to hug all the people you love and to celebrate on the ONE day of the wedding...as you should. This is the gift that you need to give yourself,it will all be over in a flash and there are no do-overs.
Hiring a wedding planner is non-negotiable...period..end of discussion!  The MOB has spoken..long live the MOB.

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